Become a Born Leader

The world held its breath this week as a future leader was born in London.  His name is Prince George of Cambridge, the first child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and he is the United Kingdom’s future king.

Prince George’s inescapable future life as a leader is already mapped out for him.  As the third in line to the throne he will succeed his grandfather and father in what is estimated to be 50 years’ time.  And when he does eventually become monarch he will need to show great leadership, courage and a virtuous character to earn the respect, esteem and affection of the important people in his world. 

For Prince George, there is no opportunity to decide what type of person he will grow up to become, but for the rest of us, the opportunity is all ours.  And while Prince George will rise to a position of leadership simply through the hereditary privileges of being born into the royal family, it is not so easy for us ‘commoners’ to do the same in any other organisation or society.  The competition for leadership is fierce, and only the people who have developed the very best leadership skills and are at the top of their game will acquire leadership positions with the ability to hold on to them.

To be a great leader, you must have a clear vision.  Many inexperienced leaders fail to convey a clear vision to the people they lead, which can result in confusion and many different directions being taken.  It is much easier to lead if you have a clear idea of what you want to do, where you want to go, and how you want to get there.  People prefer to follow someone who has a definitive plan and can take them along on the journey to success.

Some people say that leadership is situational, and that what is necessary for success in a leadership position is determined by factors such as the people being led, the objectives being accomplished, the environment they are in and the social, political or cultural differences being faced.  A true leader can adapt to the current situation they are in and use the different qualities of leadership necessary to make it a success.

Integrity and honesty are the other important leadership qualities displayed by those who rise to the top and stay there.  Trust is an inherent part of leadership, so tell the truth to yourself and others in every situation.  Team members have to trust that leaders are serving everyone’s best interests, and it is therefore imperative that leaders lead with integrity, honesty and values.

You don’t have to become a born leader by accident of birth.  You can acquire and develop the necessary leadership skills by watching, learning and emulating the actions and behaviours of other leaders.  Choose role models, seek out mentors, ask for feedback and learn from it to improve and fine tune your skills.  There is no magic formula, but if you seek the advice of those who have made it, and then put that advice and guidance to good use, you will inevitably become a very great leader.

For a free consultation to discuss how I can help you achieve your goals and become a born leader, contact me now.
Email:  info@caterpillar-coaching.co.uk
Web:   www.caterpillar-coaching.co.uk

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

A couple of weeks ago I met with a gentleman at the BBC to discuss the opportunity of working with his team, and when he replied to my follow-up email he said he wanted to contribute something to my blog, a quote by the British author Rose Tremain.  That quote is "Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal".

It's true of course.  Life is definitely not a dress rehearsal.  No matter how you want to look at it, this is very much the main event, and we only get one chance at it.

Over the ensuing days after our meeting I pondered on these six words and reflected back on what I have achieved so far in my life.  I remembered the goals I wrote down when I was still a teenager - goals I wanted to attain by the time I reached a certain age - and was thrilled to realise that I have achieved all but one of them (yes I'm still writing the book).  My life has turned out just the way I had wanted it to, and being aware of this made me feel immensely proud that I have been brave enough to take all the necessary steps to make it happen.  At that very moment in time, I believed there was nothing I would ever change about my life.

But now something has happened to challenge that belief.  A family member has just been diagnosed with lung cancer.  It is in the advanced stages, and he only has a few weeks left.  After receiving this news, and thinking about what he had done with his life, I quickly realised that I do have more goals I want to achieve, and more things I want to change. 

For most of us, it takes a big bump in the road, such as the sudden illness of a friend or loved one, to make us sit down and really take stock of our lives.  It is human nature to behave in this way when something truly life-changing occurs.  But my question to you is, why wait for such a catalyst to appear?  Why not make those changes now, without waiting for an excuse to do so?

I often hear people say that they have too much responsibility to afford the "luxury" of changing their lives or pursuing their dreams.  They have a family to take care of, a demanding boss, debts up to their eyeballs or their child's future to think about.  And while I am not advocating that you turn your (and their) life upside down, I am inviting you to pause for a moment and really look for ways that you can start incorporating the necessary changes into your life to enable you to start realising your dreams.  Even if you only take baby steps, each small step will bring you closer to living the life you really want.

Nothing in this world happens without action.  Change requires action, and if you want to change your life you need to act today.  Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month or next year.  You need to do it today.

We all deserve to live the life of our dreams, but we only get one chance at it.  Don't wait until you get to the final chapter in your life before you realise that it wasn't a dress rehearsal, it was very much the main event. 

Write down your goals, write down what you want to change in your life, and then get out there and take action to make it happen.

For a free consultation to discuss how I can help you achieve your goals and change your life, contact me now.

Email:  info@caterpillar-coaching.co.uk
Web:   www.caterpillar-coaching.co.uk

Do You Want to Achieve Impossible Things?



The Red Queen



“There’s no use trying,” Alice said.  “One can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.  “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.  Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” 

(From Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll).

What “impossible” things do you want to believe?  And what is stopping you from believing them?

Limiting beliefs are so prevalent they come up in just about every coaching session I have with my clients.  As a Life Coach, I help my clients to permanently banish these self-limiting beliefs to enable them to move swiftly forwards to achieving their goals.

We all carry limiting beliefs around with us, with some people having more than others.  This is a fact of life.  They hold us back from doing the things we want to do, and prevent us from taking action to achieve our goals and dreams.  But imagine if we didn’t have these limiting beliefs?  What could we do then?

Ask yourself this question.  What would you do if you truly believed you could do anything you set your mind (and hand) to?

Now it’s important that I point out the difference between a belief and a fact.  Most people get the two confused when they are actually two very different things.

If I said to you “I can’t fly to the moon in a paper aeroplane”, that would not be a limiting belief, that would be a fact.

But if I said to you “I can’t audition for that acting job because I’ll get it wrong and then wet myself in front of the show’s producer”, then that is just a limiting belief.

Having said that, that belief may turn into a fact if I continue to believe it and do nothing at all to banish it!  But the point is, it’s not a fact until it happens, it’s just a limiting belief.

Some other common examples of limiting beliefs vs facts are:

I’ll never be able to fit into those clothes again – belief

I haven’t reached my ideal weight yet – fact

I’ll never be good enough to write that book – belief

I haven’t completed my creative writing course yet – fact

London buses are unreliable - first there are none, then three come at once – belief

(Ok, this one is also a fact sometimes!)

So where do these limiting beliefs come from?  Well we are certainly not born with them.  Limiting beliefs are instilled into us from an early age by external influences such as parents, teachers, friends and siblings.  We are told we are not good enough, will never amount to anything, are too stupid and can never do anything right.  The more we are told these things, the more we believe them until they become “facts” in our own minds, and as we go through life these limiting beliefs hold us back from achieving what we want to achieve because we firmly believe we will never be able to do it.

Now, if we all carry limiting beliefs around with us, how do we banish them forever?  Well, when my coaching clients come to me with a limiting belief, I always ask them these four questions:

Where did this belief come from?

Who gave this belief to you?

What do you think of the person who gave you this belief?

What benefit do you get from holding on to this belief?

During coaching sessions on limiting beliefs with my clients, they usually find that the belief has no power once they have answered those questions.  And once the belief has no power, my clients can imagine what they will go out and do to move forwards towards achieving their goals.

So if you are just like the rest of us and find that your limiting beliefs are holding you back, ask yourself these questions and then write down the answers.  You will be amazed at how little power they hold, and just what “impossible” things you can achieve once you have banished them forever!

For a free consultation to discuss how I can help you banish your limiting beliefs, contact me now.

Pauline Couper

http://www.caterpillar-coaching.co.uk

Are You Struggling with Your New Year's Resolutions?

If you are, then you are not alone.

In 2007, FranklinCovey surveyed 15,031 of their customers about their New Year’s Resolutions.  They found that 35% of people break them before the end of January, with another 42% breaking them at some point after that.

I’m not surprised that 77% of people give up on their resolutions in such a short period of time.  New Year's Resolutions are difficult to keep unless you have tremendous willpower, a life-changing experience, or someone who can help keep you focused, support and motivate you through to achieving your goals.

In my experience I’ve found that people who only set goals once a year just because it’s the "thing to do" are not truly goal-oriented people.  And I admit I used to be one of them.  But now I don’t believe in making New Year’s Resolutions that are, for the most part, just paying lip service to the deep-down desires we all have for making changes in our lives.

Instead I believe in setting realistic goals and making plans all year long, and I work with my clients to do the same.  It does take discipline, but for me it’s the key to real achievement and absolute success.

Setting achievable goals isn't enough on it's own though.  Planning your time to fit your needs is one of the most important ingredients.  If you don’t plan your time, someone else will plan it for you.  And that will carry on every week, every month and every year until you take action to get it back.

We live in a technically advanced world where people are incessently fighting for our attention, with constant distractions such as emails, phone calls, text messages and social media all intruding upon us through the latest mobile gadgets such as smart phones and tablets.  But at the same time, we know that being laser focused on our goals is really the key to getting the most out of our own abilities to achieve them.

So how do we stay focused in a world that can so effortlessly suck time away from us?

Well, as Michael Altshuler once said.  "The bad news is that time flies.  The good news is that you're the pilot".

And I agree with him.  You are your own pilot.  You decide where you want to go, and when.  In my opinion, one of the most effective ways of ensuring that we stick to our plans and accomplish our goals is to dedicate the necessary time to ourselves to keep on setting, evaluating and updating our goals and action plans all through each year.  That's what will get us from where we are now to where we want to be.

So put an action in your diary now to revisit your New Year's Resolutions every week of every month, to re-evaluate and update your plans, and keep moving closer to acheiving your goals.

Pauline Couper
http://www.caterpillar-coaching.co.uk/