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| The Red Queen |
“There’s no use trying,” Alice said. “One can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
(From Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll).
What “impossible” things do you want to believe? And what is stopping you from believing them?
Limiting beliefs are so prevalent they come up in just about every coaching session I have with my clients. As a Life Coach, I help my clients to permanently banish these self-limiting beliefs to enable them to move swiftly forwards to achieving their goals.
We all carry limiting beliefs around with us, with some people having more than others. This is a fact of life. They hold us back from doing the things we want to do, and prevent us from taking action to achieve our goals and dreams. But imagine if we didn’t have these limiting beliefs? What could we do then?
Ask yourself this question. What would you do if you truly believed you could do anything you set your mind (and hand) to?
Now it’s important that I point out the difference between a belief and a fact. Most people get the two confused when they are actually two very different things.
If I said to you “I can’t fly to the moon in a paper aeroplane”, that would not be a limiting belief, that would be a fact.
But if I said to you “I can’t audition for that acting job because I’ll get it wrong and then wet myself in front of the show’s producer”, then that is just a limiting belief.
Having said that, that belief may turn into a fact if I continue to believe it and do nothing at all to banish it! But the point is, it’s not a fact until it happens, it’s just a limiting belief.
Some other common examples of limiting beliefs vs facts are:
I’ll never be able to fit into those clothes again – belief
I haven’t reached my ideal weight yet – fact
I’ll never be good enough to write that book – belief
I haven’t completed my creative writing course yet – fact
London buses are unreliable - first there are none, then three come at once – belief
(Ok, this one is also a fact sometimes!)
So where do these limiting beliefs come from? Well we are certainly not born with them. Limiting beliefs are instilled into us from an early age by external influences such as parents, teachers, friends and siblings. We are told we are not good enough, will never amount to anything, are too stupid and can never do anything right. The more we are told these things, the more we believe them until they become “facts” in our own minds, and as we go through life these limiting beliefs hold us back from achieving what we want to achieve because we firmly believe we will never be able to do it.
Now, if we all carry limiting beliefs around with us, how do we banish them forever? Well, when my coaching clients come to me with a limiting belief, I always ask them these four questions:
Where did this belief come from?
Who gave this belief to you?
What do you think of the person who gave you this belief?
What benefit do you get from holding on to this belief?
During coaching sessions on limiting beliefs with my clients, they usually find that the belief has no power once they have answered those questions. And once the belief has no power, my clients can imagine what they will go out and do to move forwards towards achieving their goals.
So if you are just like the rest of us and find that your limiting beliefs are holding you back, ask yourself these questions and then write down the answers. You will be amazed at how little power they hold, and just what “impossible” things you can achieve once you have banished them forever!
For a free consultation to discuss how I can help you banish your limiting beliefs, contact me now.
Pauline Couper
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